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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has always been the comfort zone of your Daily, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and milestones, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to discover that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget during his peak popularity playing for City, Mario Balotelli popped into a local college to access the restrooms in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team post a quick discussion within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|